Whew! I strongly suspected that I had an unhealthy attachment to Facebook in particular and surfing in general and today proved it. I'm going to tell you the truth, but I'm a little embarrassed.
Apparently, I must check Facebook dozens and dozens of times each day. I say this because that is how many urges I had to pick up my phone or open my computer today. Literally beginning just minutes after my alarm went off I had to remind myself that I wasn't looking at Facebook or the news for the next month....WHILE I WAS STILL IN BED, y'all. That is embarrassing.
Another sad and embarrassing thing...apparently, Facebook friends keep me company when I eat all my meals and snacks. Yep, every time I made a meal or a snack I headed for my computer...every.single.time.
Also surprising was the number of times I considered checking Facebook on my phone while on the potty....I'm just straight up ashamed of that one. Really?
I also had to go to the dentist today and they were running late and I had to practically sit on my hands to keep from reaching for my phone...that was just boredom.
Despite the repeated urges to sit down at the computer or get my phone, I didn't break. I swear. I read a magazine while I ate breakfast and lunch. I watched Netflix while I ate dinner. During the day, while working outside I found that leaving my phone inside was the best policy because yep, I had the urge to just "rest for a minute" and I'd reach for my phone.
I also found myself thinking in Facebook pictures and posts. I "took" pictures and "wrote" captions in my head as I worked...you know, the kinds of things you post on Facebook.
I was proud of myself for not breaking, but ended up feeling kind of pathetic (on the potty, really??).
|Harry Hou and his girls making more compost.|
When I found myself sort of feeling anxious and out of sorts this evening and the urge to open the computer was strong, I dragged out my Wreck this Journal or my "Wrecking Journal" as I call it. I sketched the husk of a cotton bole and started on some ornamental pear leaves.
|Wrecking the Wreck this Journal (by Keri Smith)|
I suspect this will actually get harder the longer I go. I tried to be mindful and listen today when I felt the urges to "check in"...It seems like every time I paused in a task, I reached for something to fill the pause. That is my observation for today. Tomorrow, I'm going to work on WHY I'm doing that...